Our last post was a very personal and detailed sharing of the experience of realizing that one has blamed their whole life on someone or something outside of themselves – in other words, the experience of <a title="Being A Victim" href="http://www.grieffree.org/healthy-grieving/being-a-victim/">being a victim</a>.

Here is another individual’s insight on the experience from a different perspective. This person has been through a number of victim worksheets and has had the realization that she has approached much of her life feeling like a victim. Her deep understanding that this is who she is and how she has lived her life is something we call the<span style="text-decoration: underline;"> <a title="Owning: The Secret to Letting Go" href="http://www.grieffree.org/owning/">process of </a><a title="Owning: The Secret to Letting Go" href="http://www.grieffree.org/owning/">owning</a>.</span>

Here is the description of her experience and understanding:

<i>“Owning being a victim was such an eye opener, in more ways than one.  By that, I mean it became crystal clear what the words (from the Victim Worksheet) “I am where I am because of the choices I made” really mean.  It has become very apparent to me that every choice I have ever made was ultimately mine and only mine.  Now that I am able to identify, in sharp detail, my participation in “playing at being helpless and powerless”, I cannot refute, deny or find exception to the rule.  </i>

<i></i><i>“There is absolutely no question that being a victim makes it impossible to feel feelings, or fully access the innate, natural, unpolluted essence that is uniquely me. </i>

<i></i><i>“As long as there is even the hint of blame that I assigned to another or to a circumstance, I have obstructed my ability to access my innate skills and seek to fully know me as those skills.  </i>

<i></i><i>“Every excuse becomes transparent when exposed to the light of being honest and loses any legitimacy in the face of the indisputable truth of taking responsibility. </i>

<i></i><i>“The reason I am grounded and unwavering in my current experience of life is because there is nothing to expose except what unquestionably and unconditionally exists. </i>

<i></i><i>My next adventure is to discover the unadulterated, unfiltered aspects of me by seeking out, opening and passing through the doors of “what is in my best interest”…to actively participate in life with my eyes and heart wide open…to fully unleash an innate sense of curiosity and the quest for understanding and discovery that have always kept me taking the next step and the next. </i>

<i></i><i>It is even more clear to me that that the future tense of ‘I am where I am because of the choices I make or will make’ is more important than ever.”</i>

This beautiful realization and the sense of possibilities it creates is available to all who are willing to let go of blaming (victim mentality) and take full responsibility for creating our own lives.